Even the best kids can have their moments where they seem to get blinded by red mist and just freak out like some out of control crazy maniac. Dealing with your child when they are having a burst of anger is a really tough thing. Do you get angry? Do you give into their demands? Or does the whole universe just blow up? No matter what it can be a real nightmare to deal with. But I have a few tips that can help you get through an anger outburst, freak out, temper tantrum or whatever you want to call it!
Do Not Get All Up In Their Grill
For those of you who are not cool (like me) this simply means do not go and get all up in their personal space. This is pretty high on the list of terrible things you can do when your kid is having a freak out. If you get right in front of them then all you are doing is just making them madder and madder and any chance of calming them down has gone out the window. Let them have their personal space to do whatever it is they are doing.
Taking A Breath
Another terrible thing that you can do is punish them, react or do whatever in the heat of the moment. Chances are you will not be thinking straight either and most of the time the decision you make when you are emotional will be the wrong one and you will feel terrible later in the evening for it. Take a moment to leave the room for five seconds, take a deep breath. Just take a second to gather your thoughts and climb down the big emotional mountain you will no doubt be on.
Learn Why They Are Mad
It can be so easy to automatically just jump to the conclusion that they are having a freak out because they are in the wrong. But it could turn out that your child may actually have a very good reason for being in such an agitated state. So rather than blasting them with something like “what have you done?” which will only make things worse, try something less confrontational such as “what is wrong?” This can help them see you are on their side and you will have much better luck finding out what is going on rather than just accusing them of doing something. Let them know that you will help them, but only if they calm down and explain to you properly what is wrong.
There Is No Reasoning With A Crazy Person!
I love my kids I really do, but with my youngest son I learned very early on that when he was having a tantrum that there was simply no reasoning with him at all. Most probably what will happen is that they will try and flip the conversation and get you to reason with them! Dealing with any person not just a child when they are in a highly emotional state is hard. So even though you have the best intentions when you are reasoning with them, they will not see it that way. Wait until they have calmed down to talk to them properly.
Talk About It Later
This one here for me more applies to if you have teenagers. But once the dust has settled and they have calmed down and things are back to normal. Try and get to the bottom of what was wrong. Just ask why they were so upset earlier. Do not do it in an angry or forceful tone, do it in a nice calm voice so that they know you just want to help them. Let them know that if they have an issue like that again then talking to you is going to get better results than arguing.
You might also find helpful this related article: Dealing With Your Child’s Tantrums